Procrastinating & Catastrophizing:Tips and Tricks for Moving Forward
If you spend any time in the IVF world of Instagram, you are familiar with the widely documented emotional perils. When looking for hope and support you often find new reasons to worry, tragedy, and heartache. It is influential, but not always helpful.
Although it makes for good video content and can lend a dark humor perspective, some bad habits are propagated for consumption and lead you nowhere good. Let’s look at two habits that aren’t inherently dangerous, but serve no purpose toward heart-centered decision-making or empowerment.
Procrastination and catastrophizing. Alone they are problematic and together they are destructive.
What is procrastination and how does it relate to IVF?
Procrastination is an act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions by focusing on less important or more enjoyable activities.
Dread of the unknown prevents you from taking action, pulling the trigger, or committing to a process, even though you know it might be the best choice. As you prolong decision-making, you prolong the agony and create more emotional traps for yourself. So, procrastination leads to reduced productivity and increased stress.
None of this causes damage that can’t be undone, but it does stir the emotional pot of festering worry and prevents you from making a choice and moving forward with intention.
Here are some reasons why it’s better to get moving instead of waiting.
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Stress levels increase as the subject looms in the distance. Things that feel like they hang over your head also bring a dark cloud with them. Most of the time taking action isn’t as bad as we anticipated and we wish we’d been proactive.
I go through this with my taxes every year.
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It wastes your valuable time and depletes your energy. Imagine what you could do with the time spent hemming and hawing over decisions we are capable of making. If you spent that time procrastinating on taking proactive steps toward your goal, you would be surprised at how much you get done.
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It generates regrets and blame when you look in retrospect. No one ever says, “I’m really glad I wasted so much time before I finally made that choice.” It’s usually the opposite, “I wish I’d just done it and just moved on.”
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It causes missed opportunities. The longer it takes to get something done, the more you miss out on something you would love because you’re all tied up in waiting.
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It can negatively impact relationships. As other people move forward, or want to, and feel you’re procrastinating is affecting them. Most people using IVF are in a couple and when one person gets stuck it hangs you both up. When one person prevents both from moving forward, resentment often shows up.
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The choice can be made for you, omitting you from choosing at all. Sometimes, when we take so long to produce an action or make a decision the scenario changes and you end up having to do or receive what’s left over. No one wants to build a life from the leftovers of choices we should have made for ourselves.
Is procrastination a personality trait or a behavior? Some people think it’s an innate part of them, and they don’t even have a chance at doing things differently, but I beg to differ. I believe that procrastination can be approached like exercise or cooking skills or learning a new language. It takes time to build a new habit and become familiar with a foreign concept, but in the end it’s worth all the time spent doing it.
Here are some simple strategies to improve decision-making and move past procrastination. Approach them as a habit-stack, placing the simple tasks together into a whole new approach to making challenging decisions.
Set Clear Goals:
Clearly define your goals and objectives. Having a clear understanding of what needs to be accomplished can help you stay focused and motivated.
Break Down Tasks:
Break larger tasks into smaller, more manageable parts. This makes it easier to start and minimizes the overwhelming feeling that often leads to procrastination.
Prioritize Important Tasks:
Identify the most important and urgent tasks on your to-do list. Focus on completing these tasks first, as they have the highest impact.
Create a Schedule:
Use a planner, calendar, or productivity app to create a realistic and structured schedule. Allocating specific time slots for tasks helps organize your day and minimizes the tendency to procrastinate.
Use Time Blocking Technique:
Allocate dedicated blocks of time for specific tasks. This technique helps you establish a clear focus on one task at a time and reduces the chances of multitasking or delaying tasks.
“Within the next two weeks we will decide to add additional testing or not, so that we have time to get into the next cycle.”
Start with the Most Difficult Task:
Tackling the most challenging task first can provide a sense of accomplishment and motivation. Once the hardest part is done, it becomes easier to maintain momentum and complete other tasks.
It’s like eating the broccoli first, so you can enjoy the alfredo sauce afterward.
Set Realistic Deadlines:
Set specific and realistic deadlines for each task. Having a deadline helps create a sense of urgency and ensures that you stay accountable.
Use Positive Reinforcement:
Celebrate your accomplishments along the way. Rewarding yourself after completing tasks can help reinforce positive behavior and motivate you to stay on a mentally healthy track.
“My partner and I are celebrating our decision by having taco night at our favorite food truck.”
Rely on your partner for help making the tough choices or doing the hard things:
Even when they say, “it’s up to you,” or “I’m good with whatever you choose,” that’s taking the easy way out. That puts too much pressure on you and relieves them from accountability, which makes you procrastinate more for fear of making the wrong choice. Make your partner and active participant by asking for them to pro and con the options with you and conclude together. Then you are both invested in the steps and can support each other as you move in that direction.
Remember, overcoming procrastination is a gradual process. Taking these simple strategies day by day can improve decision-making and reduce your anxiety about the future.
Stay tuned for the second part of the series… Catastrophizing and compounding your fears and anxiety.
