FOMO vs JOMO

Dr. Erin Attaway • December 4, 2023

In today’s world of social media language, we have all learned about FOMO, or the Fear Of Missing Out.  I have to admit, this one is pretty handy. 

Fear of missing out has likely increased for most of us, since the rise of social media and the ability to make the most boring and uninspired events look larger than life.  It’s amazing what an angle can do for a scene.  

Personally, when I’m having the time of my life I’m unlikely to capture it on film.  When I’m in the moment I just don’t think to stop and film.  So many other people are taking pics and videos that I’m sure the posts will be made, and all I have to do is enjoy them.  As a result, I’m rarely ever in photographs.  HA!  That’s part of my MO, I love anonymity. 

I notice FOMO creeping in at times, but many other people suffer it constantly. The need to be present, be a part of it, (Whatever it is), be IN the photos, is too great to say no.  

The downside is that constant busyness and social engagement are exhausting.  

I saw a new acronym that we should jump on and make a trend.  JOMO. Joy Of Missing Out.  

That’s me all day.  I say no to things.

I know that missing out is probably as good as going.  

Time is my currency.  I want more time each day to do the things I want, which could be doing something or doing nothing, depending on the day.  When I put value emphasis on my time, it changes how I say yes and no. 

I have opted to live outside the city and I have to commute to attend most events.  Commuting is a drag and feels like a waste of my time although I get to listen to wonderful audiobooks this way.   I must really want to go somewhere to drive 30 minutes, in both directions. 

Even when something sounds fun and cool, if it requires an hour of driving it’s likely to get the ax unless I simply can’t imagine not attending.  

Thanks to the JOMO, I can pass up an event and enjoy something that fills me up or fills my cup in a different way.  

Social activities can be so fun and yet so draining.  I love to be with friends but having a job that requires a lot of social and emotional engagement, I need restorative time alone.  

My friend recently complimented me on my ability to put family and personal needs first, which often means saying no to group activities.  I'm grateful she said it because I worry that eventually, the invitations will stop as people assume I won’t come.  She also said, “I have such terrible FOMO, it’s hard for me to say no to anything.” And when I see her in public she’s tired and stressed and overly busy.  

Do you see the connection? 

When I saw the JOMO article it was such a BAM! moment.  The JOY of missing out simply means that you give yourself permission to miss something while knowing that the thing you do with yourself is equally or maybe even more valuable. 

The holidays bring these concerns to the surface, as people grapple with parties they don’t want to attend but feel obligated to.  Or events they would love to attend but circumstances don’t allow.  

If you say no to things you don’t want to attend it creates white space on your calendar that you can save for things you do.  People will forgive you if they even notice your absence. 

Creating white space on your calendar also creates space in your heart and mind, and brings you time to be who you are.  Relaxation is the antidote to stress and FOMO.  Once you start missing things, the fear will subside and be replaced with JOY. 

Practice your JOMO. Say no when you want to and feel it’s best for you, and don’t worry about it.  Life will go on.  Be polite and honest, but simply say no.  

All the pictures in the world don’t buy you any more time, so savor what you have and spend it wisely. 

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Each year around this time people create unrealistic expectations for themselves and then suffer from low self-esteem when they don’t pull it off. It’s a negative reinforcement loop: creating unattainable goals and then confirming your low self-worth when you fail. Let’s just stop doing it, okay? Learn to set a few reasonable expectations, and work on them every day. Like, two or three things. Then, in a month or so, when you’re feeling good about having made this small progress, add one more thing to your list and build that new habit. Small, simple steps over time lead to great success.

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In 1978 the US government issued a new visual image of how Americans should eat, The Food Pyramid. A challenge to how most Americans were currently eating, the new food pyramid emphasized eating 6-10 servings of grain-based carbohydrate foods daily. The new pyramid reduced salt and dietary fats to minimal levels and put them at the very top. Americans were told to stop consuming fat and instead fill their day with bread, cereals, popcorn, pasta, and all kinds of highly refined carbohydrate products. This is the beginning of the obesity epidemic we see today. Not only that, but neurological disorders, brain diseases, hypertension, autoimmune illness, hormonal imbalance, diabetes, hyperlipidemia, and most other epidemics we see today have skyrocketed since this incident.

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Which Type of Anti-Inflammatory Diet is Right for You?

By Dr. Erin Attaway • January 8, 2024
Sometimes fertility clinics will recommend that you follow a diet that is intended to reduce inflammation in the body, but unless they give you specifics you can go down a rabbit hole trying to decide which one will produce the desired result but also suit your needs.  If your doctor recommends you try this approach, ask a few more questions to understand their wishes.  Be sure to understand the intended goals and desired effect, which leads to improved decision-making and an increased chance of sticking to the plan.   You might only have 30 or so days to prepare for the next cycle or procedure, so rapid intervention might be the goal.  You might have three months and a doctor who wants you to focus on getting five to eight servings of fresh fruit and vegetables each day.  To achieve the desired outcome you should aim to clarify as much detail as you can and make a master list of goals.   If a certain amount of weight loss is desired, make a note of it. Find other ways to monitor a reduction of inflammatory symptoms such as changes in your physical body like joint pain, skin rash or headaches.  Fill out a toxicity or inflammation questionnaire before you begin and keep your store.  Take the test again after each month of dietary changes and track your progress.  Here’s a quick exploration of the most common diets for reducing inflammation.  

Which Type of Anti-Inflammatory Diet is Right for You?

By Dr. Erin Attaway • January 8, 2024
Sometimes fertility clinics will recommend that you follow a diet that is intended to reduce inflammation in the body, but unless they give you specifics you can go down a rabbit hole trying to decide which one will produce the desired result but also suit your needs.  If your doctor recommends you try this approach, ask a few more questions to understand their wishes.  Be sure to understand the intended goals and desired effect, which leads to improved decision-making and an increased chance of sticking to the plan.   You might only have 30 or so days to prepare for the next cycle or procedure, so rapid intervention might be the goal.  You might have three months and a doctor who wants you to focus on getting five to eight servings of fresh fruit and vegetables each day.  To achieve the desired outcome you should aim to clarify as much detail as you can and make a master list of goals.   If a certain amount of weight loss is desired, make a note of it. Find other ways to monitor a reduction of inflammatory symptoms such as changes in your physical body like joint pain, skin rash or headaches.  Fill out a toxicity or inflammation questionnaire before you begin and keep your store.  Take the test again after each month of dietary changes and track your progress.  Here’s a quick exploration of the most common diets for reducing inflammation.  
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